Friday, July 1, 2011
Teaching Obedience. Learning Obedience.
I've been learning a lot of trust, obedience and God's timing these days. Seems you can never stop learning about that, seeing as I can look back at every point in my life and say...hmm I was learning a lot about trust, obedience and God's timing.
My best friend and I have been trying to walk faithfully in obedience towards a vision that God has called us to and let me tell ya...it's not easy. In fact almost every step of the way right now mirrors a situation I deal with everyday in my job as a nanny.....usually with one specific kid...who will remain nameless.
A pretty daily occurrence goes a little something like this....
Miss Kelsey: Can you clean up the mess that you made before we move on to something new? We can do it together...I'm here to help.
Spunky Child: ooohhhh, but I don't want to do that. I don't need your help...(sometimes it's "I don't want your help")
Miss Kelsey: I know you don't want to do it, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do because it's the right thing to do. It's called obedience and I ask you to do these things to help teach you responsibility.
Spunky child: huffing and puffing, and stomping feet...goes to do what was asked. but then complains that it's too hard.
Miss Kelsey: (trying to get her attention in between the huffing and puffing) Were you listening? Remember when I said I am here to help? Do you want my help?
Spunky Child: no I can do it myself (struggling and becoming more frustrated with every second)
Miss Kelsey: Ok remember what we talk about...having a good attitude when we obey?
Spunky Child: Ok Miss Kelsey. I'm sorry I was not being very good, can you help me? (melt my heart right there, it seriously ends as fast as it starts)
Again God uses a lesson I try so hard to instill in the kids that I watch to remind me of my own stubbornness and strong-will.
God told me to do something. I don't want to do it. I obey because I know that He knows best and I want to follow where He leads.....but I'd be lying if I said I obeyed with a happy, willing heart and a good attitude.
I then come up with the list of reasons and concerns...."well, how am I going to pay rent?", "Aren't we called to be good stewards too?", "My flighty self finally feels settled and loves my job, why would you change that?" and so on and so forth.
I'm sure He's trying to get my attention...Kelsey. Kelsey were you listening to me? Kelsey, I said I'm here to walk with you, to help you.
You would think by now I would learn.
You would think after all the times God has miraculously provided and all the times He has taken me down a path I am unsure of, only to have plans bigger than I could have imagined...I still doubt. It's easy for me to let the stress of everything going on take control and then I take control (or I THINK I do) into my own hands and try to manage everything. And every time I choose to stop and listen and hand it over to Him...He shows that He is in control. He knows the bigger picture. He is the one with plan in the first place.
When butting heads about being obedient and having happy attitudes ceases, and crying and testing boundaries pause, we share special moments like these.....
moments that bring peace....
Such a beautiful picture of when I am walking in humble obedience towards what God has called me to...with a good attitude, it may not be easy, but...things feel right...I am at peace...I feel secure...and I feel loved.
Once again...He meets me where I'm at...He uses my daily life and my passions to teach me the lessons I need to learn...or in this case...re-learn for the 100th time.