Kids don't always have filters, they don't always have control of their bodily functions, they sometimes lose control of their emotions.
The person most in the spotlight during those moments is the caretaker.
Before I share that story though, can I first just say how proud I am of Todd and Angie?
In case you hadn't heard the news going around, Angie's book has been #1 on Barnes and Noble (above The Help...which made for a great screen shot). I am so so proud of her and am honored to have been able to watch her walk this path and stand by as she walks in humble obedience. You MUST go get her book and read it. It is amazing and I plan on reading several more times....I've already read chapter 5 about four times. She is a very gifted writer.
Just to add to the families exciting week Selah's new CD was released this week and has been in the top 100 list on itunes and at one point was even between Lady Gaga and Eminem...HA. I am so excited for them and LOVE this new CD. I have listened to it over and over again for several months and don't think I will ever get tired of it. I love getting to see Todd, Amy, and Allan do what God has put them on a path to do and have never met musicians so humble and Christ-centered. Go support them and buy their CD!
OK...just had to brag on them a bit. Back to my story....
So just for laughs here is how my night was last night:
We were going to Selah's CD release party.
We walk in with the whole clan and I have little C in my arms.
Now just to give you a little bit of back story and prep for the next part....the girls are very into finding me a boy. For the most part I just humor them and put up with the embarrassing moments when we are out and they announce (usually rather loud) if they see a boy they think I should get married to (they never seem to go to dating...just straight to marriage).
Anyway, so for about the past 9 months or so they have been obsessed...I mean literally obsessed about this one boy that has helped out with Selah's CD (praying he doesn't read this...it was just too funny not to share). They are constantly talking about wanting us to get married and how they think he is just perfect.
Then they informed me that they had also been telling him these same things.
I finally got to the point where I would tell them that I don't know this guy and who knows...he may not even be my type.
Simply to try to simmer down all this excitement for them.
Back to the party.
We walk in and I'm being introduced to people and we proceed into the next room where I get introduced to this guy. A little awkward introduction of "Oh yeah, I've heard all about you"s were exchanged and we just laughed it off.
They say the darndest things.
As our introduction finishes I happen to look down at little C's face.
Ok moms/nannies, you know the face. The one where you know in a matter of milliseconds things are going to be projected from the child's mouth and although time seems to be moving slow...there is NO way you can move fast enough to do anything about it....
That was the face.
Which was followed by projectile puking all over....Me.
Side note: Why is the first reaction to put your hand there to catch it? There is no such things as "catching" uncontrollable vomit. It's impossible.
So I'm standing there completely being covered as little C just keeps it coming and the party comes to a screeching halt.
I'm torn between wanting to comfort and hold C close as she is crying and throwing up....and not wanting to move because I'm covered in chunks.
And then comes the "Now what do I do stage" that results in you just standing there calmly holding a puke covered baby and not moving a muscle for fear that chunks may scatter even more and the soaked through shirt and pants may get more soaked through than they already are and the chunks may squish under my feet since of course my shoes were covered as well. And of course....not breathing. Because if you breathe in the way that you smell...you may just join in on the puking party.
Are you feeling sick yet?
Then I hear someone say...."Are those tomatoes?"
I look down to see perfectly cut up little triangles of....hot dog. To which I reply..."Nope, hot dog."
Yep nanny guilt.
I was the one that fed her hot dog. Apparently she didn't actually chew u a single piece and I was now wearing the results.
I will never feed a child a hot dog again.
So we made our way to a bathroom, scrubbed off as much as we could, and I changed into one of the guy's t-shirts...
To make the situation even more humorous...as I came downstairs Allan informed Angie and I that the girls had taken care of the "boy situation". I was afraid to even ask what that meant but he proceeded anyway saying that the girls told the guy "Hey just so you know, Miss Kelsey says that you really are not her type."
Out of the mouths of babes.
8 year old match making.
Never a good thing.
At that point Angie and I pretty much just fell on the stairs laughing at how oddly eventful the night had been and we had only been there for about 15 minutes.
I then spent the rest of the night trying to keep a 5 foot radius between me and anyone else because the smell was enough to make you gag.
At one point I must not have kept to that 5 foot radius because Angie was talking to a friend and said "Man, I still smell puke." to which her friend responded...."Kelsey is standing behind you" hahaha.
We finally made our way home...with the windows down the whole way of course ;)
The night could not hold anymore incidents.
We're getting the girls ready for bed when we noticed a leak in the ceiling....I run up to check the girls bathroom and as I take the lid off the back of the toilet I get shot...right in the face and hair...with a shooting stream of toilet water.
We spent the next hour trying to fix a toilet...laughing about the glamorous life of a nanny and her best-selling author boss.
Being a mom or a nanny always brings the risk of embarrassing moments, sticky (or stinky) situations, and a whole lot to laugh about.
This will be one night that I will laugh about for the rest of my life.